The Six Merry Murderesses of Azkaban
by LittleKisses
Summary: Why Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Pansy Parkinson, Astoria Greengrass and Cho Chang are in prison for murder. Songfic to Chicago's Cell Block Tango! READ AND REVIEW!


** Hello! I've been watching a lot of musicals lately and so this one song from Chicago really struck me. It was about independent women and there were definitely a lot of those in Harry Potter. So this is just a song-fic about the six women and their love interests! I hope y'all like this! Kisses! Kisses!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago and/or Harry Potter.**

And now the six merry murderesses of Azkaban, in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango,

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

He had it coming he had it coming,

He only had himself to blame!

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it,

I betcha you would have done the same!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh Uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Harry, Harry liked to chew gum, no, not chew, Pop! Like, I come home this one day and there's Harry, lying on the couch, drinking a beer and chewing', no, not chewing', popping! So, I said to him, I said, "Harry, you pop that gum one more time" and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall, and I fired two warning shots into his head.

He had it coming he had it coming!

He only had himself to blame

I met Cedric from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off great. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, and we'd have dinner. Then I found out, single he told me? Single my ass. Not only was he married, oh no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know? So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual… You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!

He had it coming he had it coming,

He took a flower in its prime!

And then he used it, and he abused it!

It was a murder but not a crime!

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen, carving' up the chicken for dinner and in storms my husband Blaise in a jealous rage! "You've been screwing' the milkman" He says and he kept saying, "You've been screwing the milkman!" and then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it!

I betcha you would have done the same!

"Mit keresek én itt? Azt mondják, a híres lakóm lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz. Én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Próbáltam a rendõrségen megmagyarázni, de nem értették meg. *1*

But did you do it?

Uh, uh… Not guilty!

My sister, Daphne and I had this double act

And my husband, Draco traveled around with us

With the last number in our act

We did 20 acrobatic tricks in our world

One two three four five, splits, spread eagles

Flip flops, back flips, one right after the other

Well, this one night we were in Cicero

The three of us, we were in this hotel room, boozing' and having' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I went out to get some, I come back, open the door and there are Daphne and Draco, doing number seventeen, the spread eagle! Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out I can't remember a thing it wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!

They had it coming they had it coming!

They had it coming all along

I didn't do it, But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

I loved Ron Weasley; he was a real artistic guy, sensitive, and a painter

But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way, he found Lavender, Pavarti, Rosmerta and Verity! I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences... He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead!

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it coming', they had it coming!

They had it coming' all along!

'Cause if they used us and they abused us!

How could they tell us that we were wrong?

He had it coming he had it coming!

He only had himself to blame!

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it,

I betcha you would have done the same!

You pop that gum one more time…

Single my ass!

Ten times!

Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe…

Number seventeen, the spread eagle!

Artistic differences…

I betcha you would have done the same!

***1* Translation: ****"What am I doing here? They say my famous tenant held down my husband and I chopped his head off. But it's not true. I am innocent. I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain at the police station but they didn't understand."**

**In case you didn't know who was talking here is a list in order:**

**Ginny Weasley**

**Cho Chang**

**Pansy Parkinson**

**Luna Lovegood**

**Astoria Greengrass**

**Hermione Granger**

**So what did you guys think of my song-fic? I would really love some helpful criticism as I feel it really helps my writing style get better. Thank y'all so much for taking time to read this story… I have written other Harry Potter stories and would love for you guys to check them out as well as my Percy Jackson and the Olympians stories if you're into that stuff. Most of my Harry Potter stories are Draco and Hermione though so if you don't like it you might not want to read it but hey, check it out anyway! Thanks so much! Kisses!**

** ~LittleKisses**

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**Just press that teensy little review button and I'll love you forever Please…. **** You know you want to!**


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